Apple Pie

This entire page is literally just for that joke based on that quote by Carl Sagan but since I've already created the universe here's a recipe for apple pie that I definitely didn't borrow from reddit.

https://www.reddit.com/r/food/comments/5enl77/homemade_perfectly_pretty_apple_pie/dadrbrp/Ingredients: METHOD:
 * Pie dough (Pick your fave recipe, this one is mine.)
 * Apples (4-6, depending on the size of your pie pan. I like a mix of Fuji, Braeburn, and Granny Smith - but fee free to be picky here)
 * ~1/3 c Brown sugar
 * Juice from 1/2 lemon
 * Apple Cider Caramel Recipe Here
 * 2-4 tbl corn starch, depending on how gooey you like your pie.
 * 1 egg white, beaten.
 * 2 tbl white sugar.
 * Oven at 425.
 * 1) Make your pie dough, roll out your discs and put in one in your pie pan and the other on a cookie sheet. Store in the fridge until needed.
 * 2) Peel and slice apples into 1/4 in pieces. Put in a big ol' bowl with your brown sugar, corn starch, and lemon juice. Stir it up and let it sit on the counter for 30 min - 3 hrs. The apples will lose a lot of water - that's the plan! That makes them shrink up less while baking so you don't get the big gap between your apples and your top crust.
 * 3) Time to fill your pie. Put half your apple slices in the pie - I carefully layer to ensure slices are closely stacked, but you could be sloppier. Drizzle 1/4 cup of caramel all over the apples. Put the rest of your apples on top, and drizzle with more caramel. I add a couple tablespoons of the juice from the apple bowl, but discard most of it - this keeps your pie from getting soupy. Whatever appley flavor is lost in the juice is replaced by that caramel.
 * 4) Take your cookie-sheet pie dough and slice in ~1in wide pieces, making sure the longest ones are long enough to reach across your whole pie. Shoot for about 10.
 * 5) Do your lattice & crimp your edges! Google it for a how-to video, there are many. Brush the lattice with egg white and sprinkle with 2tbl white sugar.
 * 6) Toss your pie in the hot oven for about 15 min. Lower the temp to 375 and cook for ~30min, or until your crust looks golden brown and you can see your filling bubbling up. Don't worry about going a little long here - it's not gonna dry out. If your pie edges look done before your center looks good, cover the edges with foil, that will prevent them from burning.